Costume Cool: Halloween Edition

One of my favorite months of the year has arrived, and trailing in its wake are several delightful items – from discounted candy and haunted houses to the most prime season of classic Disney movies. (Obviously, “Hocus Pocus” and “Halloweentown” with H-Town 1 and 2, exclusively.)

And naturally, the costumes. As a lover of clothes and over-the-top dressing, this element of the month of All Hallow’s Eve is the ultimate. A chance to adopt the most elaborately creative decor, and roll it all into one outfit. (T-shirts emblazoned with “This is my costume” and dressing up as yourself don’t count. Get out of here.)

An Acceptable Reaction to the Unoriginal Halloween Costume

For one night a year, you can be whomever you please. Whether that’s an oversized burrito or a glamazon flapper from the Gatsby era, this is your one shot to step into someone else’s skin. Not literally, Hannibal.

Hannibal enjoys a good Halloween costume.

So what are the very best stylin’ costumes for the 31st? I’ve got you covered.

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Putting current VMA feelings towards Smiley aside, let’s instead focus on the time we had her in our, ah, more impressionable years. That’s right. Hannah Montana battled right by our side through the brace-faced, frizzy-haired trenches of the “Awkward Stage,” so how can we leave her when she’s just beginning to work twerk it all out?

Sure she’s embarking upon a questionable rap career, and maybe cast one-too-many pout lips in previous movie roles. But sweet nibblets, Miles is just giving it her all. So give it right back in your very best Miley VMA impression.

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A. Foam finger in all its inappropriate-ness available here.
B. Nude seamless bra and boyshorts. Latex not included. Check them out here.
C. Blonde buns. Hairstyle so eloquent, your friends won’t believe you bought it for $5.99 at Walgreens.

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The kids, the clothes, the legend. And now, you get to be a part of its absolutely insane reality. Pile your hair on top of your head, dump on some glitter and squeeze into on an old school princess dress (or better yet– track down an old prom gown from your trusty Goodwill, and bedazzle the heck out of that thing). When your friends compliment you on your over-the-top getup, you’ll coyly quip back, “Oh, this ole thing?” Except that you’ll mean it. And feel free to bring the attitude– and the trophy! You’re a star, baby.
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A. Grab an old trophy from your previous soccer/dance/piano recitals and take it out for the night. If you didn’t spend your childhood amassing awards and self-worth, get one here, most under $10.
B. Get some spray on glitter and go ham. Walgreens, $5.49. Cut yourself a paper crown from any pile of craft supplies you can find.
C. Bring Teddy along for those party-goers who are a little slow on the uptake. “Wait… you’re a pageant star?” Not just any pageant star, my friend, a Toddler in a Tiara. Capitals.
D. Buy yourself some chunky ruffled socks here, $9. And get some maryjane-esque pumps. These aren’t bedazzled, but don’t let that stop you! The more sparkles, the better.
E. And the dress! You can find a large child’s size 16 princess dress at any Halloween store, but don’t forget to take a peek in your local Goodwill’s wedding section! It’s a goldmine.

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Your costume will look so good, no one else will even try.

How do I love thee, Wednesday Addams? Let me count the ways. With your ability to effortlessly rock that somehow always trendy Peter Pan collar, the most intimidating “resting” expression ever to be arranged upon a face and the healthiest dose of self-assurance I’ve ever seen, you’re a girl who’s got it all. Though there may be some inconsistencies between 1960s Wednesday and 1993 Wednesday, it’s the spirit that counts. This is Halloween, after all.
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A. This outfit is pretty self explanatory. Get your hair braided into two long pigtails. Maybe dab on a little white face powder for that death-chic. All the models are doing it. And don’t forget some plum-tinted lips.
B. Black dress and knee-highs. You could explore with some black and white striped socks, but I opted for a neutral because in true Wednesday fashion, “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.” In other words, anything bright or eye-catching is undesirable.

“This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.” – Wednesday Addams

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Cleo’s always a classic.

Okay so maybe you’ll have to lose the super ornate headdress, but you can’t deny this woman is the ultimate glamazon. Whether she’s channeling thousands of years worth of Egyptian style or just being awesome Elizabeth Taylor, she looks fierce. *Eye wink.
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A. Pile on the shimmer, girl! You’re an Egyptian goddess. From bangles to bronze statement necklaces and those hippy headbands, too much is never enough. Don’t forget the gold glitter eye shadow.
B. Grab a one-shoulder white dress. If you can’t track one down, opt for the white tank and white skirt, with a bright patterned belt to cinch at the waist.
C. Strappy sandals. No alternative. That’s the secret to walkin’ like an Egyptian. Just ask The Bangles.

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Me, a Halloween costume?! Imagine that!

Oh, Amanda. You taught me it’s okay to aspire to have my own variety show, laugh at my own jokes, choose “funny” over “sexy” and just let the freak flag fly. Even if you’re sporting the wigs nowadays and pierced your cheek, I will always love you. But it makes a preeeetty great Halloween costume.
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A. Find yourself a nice ratty sky blue wig. Only the classiest for the queen of comedy. Don’t forget the square sunglasses! And a stick-on earring for the cheek? Why, don’t mind if you do.
B. The wardrobe for Miz B as of late is pretty much a wild card. She’s been spotted in athletic jerseys, such as this, but she’s also wearing hoodies, puffer vests and American flag pattern denim. So, the world is really your oyster here.
C. Get some skinny jeans on and slither into obnoxiously florescent stilettos. Voila! Bring in the dancing lobsters.

So now that you’ve got a handful of the best pop culture-relevant costumes there are, who will you be for Halloween?!

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One response to “Costume Cool: Halloween Edition

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